As Christmas approaches, I would like to acknowledge the difficulties of grief during this period. It is perceived as a happy time spent together with loved ones, celebrating special times of togetherness, connection and making memories. It can feel like quite the opposite when we are grieving.
You may have just lost your special person, or it may be weeks, months, or even years after your loss, regardless of the time, grief at Christmas can still be a struggle and not easy to face or even begin to imagine, whilst we are grieving.
Grief is unique to each of us; it looks different for each of us. Some may find comfort in the holidays. Spending time with friends and family. Or perhaps it may be the hardest time to face without your loved one physically present. However you spend it, it’s okay to do it your way, be sad, laugh, cry, even enjoy yourself, and have some fun. You can still feel your grief and remember the person who is no longer here. Sadness and joy coexist.
During these difficult times taking good care of your wellness and mental health, needs to be high on your list of things to do.
However the holidays look for you, recognising and acknowledgingand the best way to navigate your way through is what's important.
Some ways you can help yourself over this period are:
- Check in on how you are feeling
It is important to be aware of what exactly is going on for you, your feelings matter, you are going through a tough time with your grief, and you need to take care of yourself the best way you can, if this means not attending gatherings, Christmas celebrations or meet-ups, then abstain from attending.
- Find your own way to remember your loved one
You may have traditions you want to continue despite your grief, visiting their grave if they have one, writing them a letter, going to their favourite place in nature, dedicating a space for your loved one, putting a special bauble on the Christmas tree, watching their favourite movie or listening to their favourite music.
- Celebrating Christmas your way
Consider how you want to spend Christmas day. Do you want to continue with your normal traditions? Spend it on your own or create a different way that will still include your missing loved one? Doing what feels right for you and sticking to it. Grief at Christmas shows up in many ways.
- Look after yourself
Grief can be very consuming and awfully confusing at times, so putting yourself first needs to be your priority. You may not know what to do, how to be, what you want as grief causes brain fog, numbness, depression, anger and lots more, so it is not surprising if you cannot make a decision right now. It is normal to have feelings of guilt during the holidays and continue with “life”, but please do try to find a little joy and peace.
- Try to get as much sleep as possible, this will certainly help with your mood and anxiety levels. It is common to suffer with sleep disturbance, so if you need to, practice mindfulness, grounding or speak to a professional if need be
- Nourish your body with vitamin-rich and nutritious food, and try to eat little and often. Fuelling your body is imperative in helping you manage daily in your grief journey
- Surround yourself with people who are good for your mental health, or those who have experienced a bereavement too. Your support network is important
- Stay hydrated. Deyhydration can impact our concentration levels, cause irritability, alter our mood and increase anxiety levels
- Show yourself kindness and compassion for what you are going through.
- Practice self-care. This is a big one in grief and all that comes with the journey.
If you need some support with your grief from a professional, please get in touch to book a session.