As Christmas approaches, I want to acknowledge the difficulties of grief during this period. It is perceived as a happy time spent together with loved ones, celebrating special times of togetherness.
You may have just lost your special person, or it may be weeks, months, or even years after your loss, regardless of the time, grief at Christmas can still be a struggle and not easy to face or even begin to imagine whilst we are grieving.
Grief is unique to each of us, we do not all grieve in the same way, some may find comfort in the holidays, spending time with friends and family, or on the other hand it may be the hardest time to face without your loved one. However you spend it, it’s okay to do it your way, be sad, laugh, cry, even enjoy yourself, and have some fun. You can still feel your grief and remember the person who is no longer here.
It’s important to look after yourself and put your mental health first as well as practicing lots of self-care. Whatever feels right for you during the holidays is important to recognise and acknowledge and to figure out the best way to navigate the holidays.
Some ways you can help yourself over this period are:
- Check in on how you are feeling
It is important to be aware of what exactly is going on for you, your feelings matter, you are going through a tough time with your grief and you need to take care of yourself the best way you can, if this means not attending gatherings, Christmas celebrations or meet-ups then abstain from attending.
- Find your own way to remember your loved one
You may have traditions you want to continue despite your grief, visiting their grave if they have one, writing them a letter, going to their favourite place in nature, dedicating a space for your loved one, putting a special bauble on the Christmas tree, watching their favourite movie or listening to their favourite music.
- Celebrating Christmas your way
Consider how you want to spend Christmas day, do you want to continue with your normal tradition? Spend it on your own or create a different way that will still include your missing loved one? It is important to do what is right for you in what will already be extremely hard.
- Look after yourself
Grief can be very consuming and awfully confusing at times, so putting yourself first needs to be your priority. You may not know what to do, how to be, what you want as grief causes brain fog, numbness, depression, anger and lots more, so it is not surprising if you cannot make a decision right now. It is normal to have feelings of guilt during the holidays and continue with “life”, but please do try to find a little joy and peace.
- Try to get as much sleep as you possibly can, this will certainly help with your grief. It is common to suffer with sleep disturbance, so if you need to, practice mindfulness, grounding or speak to a professional if need be.
- Nourish your body with good foods and try to eat consistently if you can. If not, try to eat little and often as this too is an imortant factor in your grief journey.
- Surround yourself with people who are good for your mental health, or have experienced a bereavement too. Your support network is important.
- Stay hydrated as this will affect your mood and cause further issues.
- Show yourself kindness and compassion for what you are going through.
- Practice self-care, This is a big one in grief and all that comes with the journey, you need to take good care of yourself, however, that may look for you.
If you need some support with your grief from a professional, please get in touch to book a session.