How to set healthy boundaries with anyone
In this article, we will talk about how setting boundaries can improve your mental health, what boundaries are, ways you can implement them, and why they play a big part in our mental health.
In today’s somewhat hectic and non-stop existence, we find ourselves at the bottom of the pile, forgetting or perhaps not even being aware of the importance of boundaries and how they impact our lives and day-to-day activities
Research suggests many of us say YES rather than NO, does this sound like you?
Putting your own needs first is often perceived as selfish, when in fact you are preventing the decline of your mental health, well-being, and all that comes with that.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are fundamental for physical and emotional health, they are a vital part of self-care and forming healthy relationships.
Setting healthy boundaries are limits we set for ourselves, to bring inner peace and calmness and to help with our mental health and well-being.
Healthy boundaries are limits you set yourself, or the ability to say NO and feel comfortable and confident doing so, it may seem quite daunting at the prospect of even considering this to be a part of who you are.
To begin, think of boundaries as what you are willing to accept and what you are not, the difference between a simple yes and no.
Why setting healthy boundaries is important?
Healthy boundaries are the cornerstone of good mental health and an indication of the way we form and develop relationships with others, as well as how we feel about ourselves.
Some of us may not even recognise when someone has taken advantage and crossed our boundary, as we become aware of our limits and the reaction it evokes, such as the feeling afterward of disappointment, anger, bitterness, or resentment.
When healthy boundaries are not set or we are unsure of how to do so, we lose our sense of self, our confidence may be affected, and feelings of anxiety, stress, overwhelmed, or even hopelessness.
Moreover, our lives can become dictated by others, as well as becoming fixated on pleasing significant individuals and at the same time no sense of who we truly are, and could lead to being disrespected or taken advantage of.
Therefore, when we set healthy boundaries, we gain inner peace, more fulfilling relationships, increased overall wellness, a greater sense of who we are, improved communication skills, and the ability to verbalise our needs.
Ways you can set healthy boundaries:
- Communicate YOUR needs to others
- Practice asking for what you need
- Identifying your inner circle, those who you feel you can trust and begin setting boundaries with
- Practice saying NO without an explanation as to why
- Expressing what you need and want will improve your confidence and self-esteem – improving your mental health
- Prioritise yourself and what you choose to engage in and with
- If you need to, take some time out
- Surround yourself with your people, who encourage you and love you to start being you
- Take it slowly
- Whatever you do, start prioritising yourself today
Examples of setting healthy boundaries
A boundary can be saying no to a social event, if you are feeling tired, overwhelmed, or already experiencing existing struggles with your mental health, such as anxiety or depression you often feel the need to say “Yes” rather than “No”.
It could be you saying no to a conversation because you feel uncomfortable, additionally, the other person is not completely respectful towards you, perhaps they are being aggressive and shouting and you feel anxious or even threatened by them.
Boundaries can be implemented into our personal and work lives, as well as relationships,
Setting boundaries at work
Over the last few years, more or more of us are working from home and it seemingly has become difficult to maintain healthy working boundaries.
When you think about working from home, we eat, sleep, work, and relax in our home, a safe space where we would typically unwind, however, we are now required to use this space as our work office, and the lines become blurred with a work/life balance.
Some work boundaries may include, sticking to your working hours, taking adequate breaks, and not working through, ultimately resulting in burnout, fatigue, poor mental health and wellbeing, and much more.
I invite you to think about your boundaries, what do they look like? What would make you feel happier and content? What boundaries do consider to align with your values?
Setting healthy boundaries in romantic relationships
- Start as you mean to go on, setting boundaries in the early stages of the relationship
- Understand what your boundaries are before expressing them to your partner
- Create space if you need to, being open and honest forms the foundations of a good relationship
- Communicate your needs
- Use “I” statements to express your feelings
Ways to set boundaries in day-to-day life:
- Your personal space
- Your interactions with others
- Limiting your time and ability to do certain tasks or engage with others
- Restricting contact with those who are detrimental to your mental health and wellbeing
- Limiting social media presence and use
- Prioritising self-care – however that looks for you
- Finances and spending what you can afford
- Thinking about your values and beliefs
What if we don’t set healthy boundaries?
As an adult, we can often be led by what others want and their perceptions of the way they would like us to be and we encounter unhealthy and possibly toxic relationships, leading to individuals being people pleasers and ultimately struggling with their mental and physical health.
To conclude, practicing self-care, and establishing healthy boundaries will lead to a happier and healthier life for yourself and your relationships.
Setting boundaries and incorporating them into your life takes practice and perseverance, begin small and slowly with those you trust and feel comfortable around. It will soon become a normal part of who you are and you will not even have to think about it.